I have always struggled with my self esteem. Just in the past 2 years have I really been seeking God's help in this area of my life. I was making big strides, so I thought....
After experiencing some dizziness, I found myself in the waiting room at my doctor's office. As I was waiting, I was reading the book, Made to Crave. This is a great book! Anyway, just as I was closing my book, this lady came out of the back where the patient rooms are. Girls, she was beautiful! Her hair was long and had been styled perfectly with amazing curls. Her complexion was perfect with just the right amount of makeup. Her outfit was gorgeous! She was very slim and seemed to have it all together. Immediately my old habits of comparing myself to every pretty female took over. Over the past 6 months, I really have been putting alot of effort into improving my health. I was eating healthy, exercising, and had lost quite a bit of weight. So, of course, I thought my self esteem issues would be totally resolved. (Not so much) You mean to tell me, 2 years of self esteem work down the drain in 2 seconds?
Just as she passed my seat and approached the middle of the waiting room, she let out the loudest hiccup I think I've ever heard! Then a second later another one came. When I say "the loudest", I am not exagerrating! They kept coming, and I must admit I wanted to burst out in laughter. (Hiccups always make me laugh...just a side note:) She made a joke about it and left the office.
Because I had alot of time left to wait, I had plenty of thinking time! As perfect as she looked on the outside, something was going on inside of her to cause those hiccups. All the Scripture of God focusing on the inside of me, the importance of my heart and mind and soul loving God more than anything, outward beauty not being the most important thing, and God's love for me before I was even born started flooding my mind. In the big scheme of things, I was trying to focus on my health and relationship with God. I'm still working on that. More importantly, I am still working on finding my worth in God, my Father, the One who made me. What a journey! It's going to be a long, but rewarding one.
I'm thankful that the lady in the office that day had some loud hiccups! They woke me up, brought me back to the thoughts God wants me thinking. Not comparing thoughts, but those of keeping my heart focused on Him and the purpose He's given me.
