I'll not talk about the number of candles that will stand tall on my birthday cake this year, but I will say they are enough for an 18-20 year old man to call me ma'am. Yes, it hit me hard when this young man approached me at a concert last night and respectfully said, "Ma'am, are you saving these seats?" My husband was amazed at how well-mannered and respectful he was. I, on the other hand, was more concerned at the title he gave me!
None the less, my birthday is quickly approaching, and I've been thinking alot about the past year. There have been great accomplishments, hard work, amazing love, great sorrow, many things learned, many "blonde" moments, some disappointments, much stubborness, lots of hugs and kisses, forgiveness, some moments taken for granted, and many blessings received. My year might sound some like yours- alot of ups and downs.
Well, as I blow out my increasing number of birthday candles this year, no wish will be repeating in my mind. This year I will close my eyes and say a prayer. Hopefully you won't mind this brief conversation between God and me. This prayer will be on my lips often.
Dear God,
Thank you for breathing life into me. I stand amazed by your unfailing love that has been shown to me. Please know I'm sorry for the times I have chosen not to follow you over the past year. I see now those roads have lead to disaster.
Thank you for my family. Please help me to show them your love daily.
Thank you for providing. May I use those provisions to touch the lives of those around me.
Thank you for my health. May I use my energy to love and serve those that come across my path.
Every moment, every day is yours. Please help me to live bold, strong, following your Spirit, totally for you this year.
Amen
Yes, I know by the time I'm done with this prayer my cake may be all wax, but I'm totally ok with that. :)
Friday, December 9, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Quit Flossing and Let Me In!
I love going to visit my in-laws! The country atmosphere is always a good change for this city girl. I love sitting on the front porch in THE most comfortable chair, watching my kids play in the front yard surrounded by huge pine trees, and the only sound is the occasional car passing or a train in the distance.
My husband and I enjoy going there because it is a place that helps us unwind and relax. Well, one weekend we had a moment that wasn't so relaxing. Now don't judge me! We all know that every married couple has one or two of these moments. It was a Sunday morning and time to get ready for church. Usually this process is pretty smooth. After almost 14 years of being married, you would think we would have learned.
I was almost ready to leave. Hair done, church clothes on, make-up finished, diaper bag packed, and the 2 kids remaining at the house were ready to go. My husband's parents had already left with our middle daughter (which was a good thing!) There was one thing left to do. I had to make use of the restroom because of the 3 cups of coffee I had downed earlier. I rushed to the only bathroom in the house where I found my amazing husband displaying his very good dental hygiene. He was flossing. At the time, I felt my reasoning for making use of the bathroom far outweighed his! Unfortunately, he felt his reasoning outweighed mine! Here is where our MOMENT began. At first the tone remained calm. When no one gave, the tone escalated. Thankfully, our 2 kids were outside playing, as the tone escalated even more. Close to a roar, I finally said, "Quit Flossing and Let Me In!" Eventually, when he was done flossing, he let me in and everything was fine. We weren't talking and finished getting ready for church. One last check in the mirror for each of us and the tension was horrible. We looked at each other and started laughing. Yes, all ended well, but what about that Moment? Could it have been avoided?
I am still learning, and don't claim to be an expert about marriage. Tim and I both agreed we were each just worried about our own needs, and how giving a little would have changed the situation entirely. Looking back, here's what I would change. I would not raise my voice. Knowing he wouldn't be flossing for an hour, I would walk away and redirect my attention to something else until he was done. I would think about the fact that many women I know, would love it if there husbands were still here on this earth to be standing in the bathroom.
I was just thinking about this weekend and the lessons I need to learn from it. I've been watching my husband this weekend and thanking God for him. I'm taking to heart these lessons and will be working on them when the next MOMENT comes.
My husband and I enjoy going there because it is a place that helps us unwind and relax. Well, one weekend we had a moment that wasn't so relaxing. Now don't judge me! We all know that every married couple has one or two of these moments. It was a Sunday morning and time to get ready for church. Usually this process is pretty smooth. After almost 14 years of being married, you would think we would have learned.
I was almost ready to leave. Hair done, church clothes on, make-up finished, diaper bag packed, and the 2 kids remaining at the house were ready to go. My husband's parents had already left with our middle daughter (which was a good thing!) There was one thing left to do. I had to make use of the restroom because of the 3 cups of coffee I had downed earlier. I rushed to the only bathroom in the house where I found my amazing husband displaying his very good dental hygiene. He was flossing. At the time, I felt my reasoning for making use of the bathroom far outweighed his! Unfortunately, he felt his reasoning outweighed mine! Here is where our MOMENT began. At first the tone remained calm. When no one gave, the tone escalated. Thankfully, our 2 kids were outside playing, as the tone escalated even more. Close to a roar, I finally said, "Quit Flossing and Let Me In!" Eventually, when he was done flossing, he let me in and everything was fine. We weren't talking and finished getting ready for church. One last check in the mirror for each of us and the tension was horrible. We looked at each other and started laughing. Yes, all ended well, but what about that Moment? Could it have been avoided?
I am still learning, and don't claim to be an expert about marriage. Tim and I both agreed we were each just worried about our own needs, and how giving a little would have changed the situation entirely. Looking back, here's what I would change. I would not raise my voice. Knowing he wouldn't be flossing for an hour, I would walk away and redirect my attention to something else until he was done. I would think about the fact that many women I know, would love it if there husbands were still here on this earth to be standing in the bathroom.
I was just thinking about this weekend and the lessons I need to learn from it. I've been watching my husband this weekend and thanking God for him. I'm taking to heart these lessons and will be working on them when the next MOMENT comes.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
My 5K- Part 2
My last post ended with me crying to my husband and ready to drive home. There was no way I could run this race. My husband told me I could come home and we could spend some time together, or I could get out of the car and prove to myself that I could run! (Gotta love that guy!) I hung up the phone, got out of the car, and was on my way to wait for 2 hours.
Soon I found myself ready to start the race. The horn sounded and off I went. Alot of people had their families with them or on the side of the road cheering them on to the end. Along the way, there were volunteers on the side of the road cheering us on, reminding us that we could do this. There were families sitting in their lawn chairs watching us run and clapping for us as we passed. At one turn, there was a dad and his kids with their hands out for high 5's. Those little hands gave me such a big boost!
These people, whose names I'll never know, encouraged me to continue my race. My finish line was in sight, my legs were hurting, I was out of breath, and someone ran by me and said, "Finish strong." That's exactly what I needed. I crossed that line and realized I had run the whole way! Seriously? I didn't even come in last! I went right to my car and texted my husband, "Done!"
As I was driving home I thanked God for helping me finish the race. I realized that He used those people all along the way to encourage me, to give me that boost I needed. They will never know how much they helped me!
I am challenged, yes, to run more, but also to be that encouraging person for someone else. Our race of life is filled with people that feel defeated like I did, people that feel like giving up because of a difficulty they're facing. There are people running by me every day that need that, "You can do it!" or "You're almost there!" or "Finish Strong!"
So, if you're one that is feeling defeated, I'll tell you what my husband told me. You can get out and prove to yourself that you can do this! There is an amazing God that gives strength and goes with us through everything we face. If you are strong in this race of life, I challenge you to be the encourager to those around you! God can use you to help someone in ways you would never imagine!
Soon I found myself ready to start the race. The horn sounded and off I went. Alot of people had their families with them or on the side of the road cheering them on to the end. Along the way, there were volunteers on the side of the road cheering us on, reminding us that we could do this. There were families sitting in their lawn chairs watching us run and clapping for us as we passed. At one turn, there was a dad and his kids with their hands out for high 5's. Those little hands gave me such a big boost!
These people, whose names I'll never know, encouraged me to continue my race. My finish line was in sight, my legs were hurting, I was out of breath, and someone ran by me and said, "Finish strong." That's exactly what I needed. I crossed that line and realized I had run the whole way! Seriously? I didn't even come in last! I went right to my car and texted my husband, "Done!"
As I was driving home I thanked God for helping me finish the race. I realized that He used those people all along the way to encourage me, to give me that boost I needed. They will never know how much they helped me!
I am challenged, yes, to run more, but also to be that encouraging person for someone else. Our race of life is filled with people that feel defeated like I did, people that feel like giving up because of a difficulty they're facing. There are people running by me every day that need that, "You can do it!" or "You're almost there!" or "Finish Strong!"
So, if you're one that is feeling defeated, I'll tell you what my husband told me. You can get out and prove to yourself that you can do this! There is an amazing God that gives strength and goes with us through everything we face. If you are strong in this race of life, I challenge you to be the encourager to those around you! God can use you to help someone in ways you would never imagine!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
My 5K Part -1
A 5K was never anything I had ever dreamed of doing, until this year. I convinced myself that it was something I could do, but only if I had people doing this with me.
The date was set, September 17, 2011. I quickly posted on facebook that I needed people to do this with me. In the back of my mind I knew that a little running and alot of walking was what I faced, but that was ok with me. The day was approaching, but my life was busy. I took on some extra responsibilities and failed to get much running practice. The thought came to mind that maybe I shouldn't do this.
I started 2 new workout classes the week before the race. The second class really worked my calf muscles, and the day before the race I found my legs sore and not ready to run.
Today! Race Day! Today is also my sons 12th birthday! Last night I baked an amazing cake for him and tasted a little too much of the frosting. I found myself very tired today. I really didn't want to go. No one was going with me. I was going to be alone (with 2,000 other runners). Can you see the excuses that I was making in my brain? I left early today, not really knowing what to do. So I got there over 2 hours early! I went to the registration table where they asked if I was doing the 1 mile fun run. Here goes my mind again! "Do they think I can't run a 5K?" "I know I don't resemble the normal 5K runner!" I quickly found myself back in my car on the phone with my husband. I started crying telling him I felt defeated. I was defeated in my quest for better health, defeated in keeping up with my duties for my family, defeated in...you name it!
Have you ever felt defeated? Maybe you have felt set up for failure? My feelings exactly this week and even today. I'll finish my story tomorrow. Just know that your struggle, these feelings can be overcome.
The date was set, September 17, 2011. I quickly posted on facebook that I needed people to do this with me. In the back of my mind I knew that a little running and alot of walking was what I faced, but that was ok with me. The day was approaching, but my life was busy. I took on some extra responsibilities and failed to get much running practice. The thought came to mind that maybe I shouldn't do this.
I started 2 new workout classes the week before the race. The second class really worked my calf muscles, and the day before the race I found my legs sore and not ready to run.
Today! Race Day! Today is also my sons 12th birthday! Last night I baked an amazing cake for him and tasted a little too much of the frosting. I found myself very tired today. I really didn't want to go. No one was going with me. I was going to be alone (with 2,000 other runners). Can you see the excuses that I was making in my brain? I left early today, not really knowing what to do. So I got there over 2 hours early! I went to the registration table where they asked if I was doing the 1 mile fun run. Here goes my mind again! "Do they think I can't run a 5K?" "I know I don't resemble the normal 5K runner!" I quickly found myself back in my car on the phone with my husband. I started crying telling him I felt defeated. I was defeated in my quest for better health, defeated in keeping up with my duties for my family, defeated in...you name it!
Have you ever felt defeated? Maybe you have felt set up for failure? My feelings exactly this week and even today. I'll finish my story tomorrow. Just know that your struggle, these feelings can be overcome.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
This one's for the girls
I have always struggled with my self esteem. Just in the past 2 years have I really been seeking God's help in this area of my life. I was making big strides, so I thought....
After experiencing some dizziness, I found myself in the waiting room at my doctor's office. As I was waiting, I was reading the book, Made to Crave. This is a great book! Anyway, just as I was closing my book, this lady came out of the back where the patient rooms are. Girls, she was beautiful! Her hair was long and had been styled perfectly with amazing curls. Her complexion was perfect with just the right amount of makeup. Her outfit was gorgeous! She was very slim and seemed to have it all together. Immediately my old habits of comparing myself to every pretty female took over. Over the past 6 months, I really have been putting alot of effort into improving my health. I was eating healthy, exercising, and had lost quite a bit of weight. So, of course, I thought my self esteem issues would be totally resolved. (Not so much) You mean to tell me, 2 years of self esteem work down the drain in 2 seconds?
Just as she passed my seat and approached the middle of the waiting room, she let out the loudest hiccup I think I've ever heard! Then a second later another one came. When I say "the loudest", I am not exagerrating! They kept coming, and I must admit I wanted to burst out in laughter. (Hiccups always make me laugh...just a side note:) She made a joke about it and left the office.
Because I had alot of time left to wait, I had plenty of thinking time! As perfect as she looked on the outside, something was going on inside of her to cause those hiccups. All the Scripture of God focusing on the inside of me, the importance of my heart and mind and soul loving God more than anything, outward beauty not being the most important thing, and God's love for me before I was even born started flooding my mind. In the big scheme of things, I was trying to focus on my health and relationship with God. I'm still working on that. More importantly, I am still working on finding my worth in God, my Father, the One who made me. What a journey! It's going to be a long, but rewarding one.
I'm thankful that the lady in the office that day had some loud hiccups! They woke me up, brought me back to the thoughts God wants me thinking. Not comparing thoughts, but those of keeping my heart focused on Him and the purpose He's given me.
After experiencing some dizziness, I found myself in the waiting room at my doctor's office. As I was waiting, I was reading the book, Made to Crave. This is a great book! Anyway, just as I was closing my book, this lady came out of the back where the patient rooms are. Girls, she was beautiful! Her hair was long and had been styled perfectly with amazing curls. Her complexion was perfect with just the right amount of makeup. Her outfit was gorgeous! She was very slim and seemed to have it all together. Immediately my old habits of comparing myself to every pretty female took over. Over the past 6 months, I really have been putting alot of effort into improving my health. I was eating healthy, exercising, and had lost quite a bit of weight. So, of course, I thought my self esteem issues would be totally resolved. (Not so much) You mean to tell me, 2 years of self esteem work down the drain in 2 seconds?
Just as she passed my seat and approached the middle of the waiting room, she let out the loudest hiccup I think I've ever heard! Then a second later another one came. When I say "the loudest", I am not exagerrating! They kept coming, and I must admit I wanted to burst out in laughter. (Hiccups always make me laugh...just a side note:) She made a joke about it and left the office.
Because I had alot of time left to wait, I had plenty of thinking time! As perfect as she looked on the outside, something was going on inside of her to cause those hiccups. All the Scripture of God focusing on the inside of me, the importance of my heart and mind and soul loving God more than anything, outward beauty not being the most important thing, and God's love for me before I was even born started flooding my mind. In the big scheme of things, I was trying to focus on my health and relationship with God. I'm still working on that. More importantly, I am still working on finding my worth in God, my Father, the One who made me. What a journey! It's going to be a long, but rewarding one.
I'm thankful that the lady in the office that day had some loud hiccups! They woke me up, brought me back to the thoughts God wants me thinking. Not comparing thoughts, but those of keeping my heart focused on Him and the purpose He's given me.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Together
My daughter came home from school yesterday telling me a story of how she had to tell on another kid because he said something bad about another boy. Her reasoning was that they aren't supposed to keep secrets in her classroom. When she was explaining it to me, I didn't think her reasoning made much sense. To her she was just following the rules -To me she was a tattle tale!
Early this morning I was thinking of her story and how the rule "no secrets" in a family setting is so important! Husbands, wives, children...we all tend to keep secrets from each other, but how destructive this can be! Secrets of the past and secrets of the present can destroy our self and our families.
I heard this song below for the first time today. It is an amazing song and hits the target right on! God gave us this amazing support system down here. We have weaknesses, struggles that we try to hide, but why go at it alone and allow the "secret" to silently destroy us? A spouse, a parent, a close Godly friend, and God, Himself can help strengthen us and encourage us to live a pure, holy, and a productive life.
Early this morning I was thinking of her story and how the rule "no secrets" in a family setting is so important! Husbands, wives, children...we all tend to keep secrets from each other, but how destructive this can be! Secrets of the past and secrets of the present can destroy our self and our families.
I heard this song below for the first time today. It is an amazing song and hits the target right on! God gave us this amazing support system down here. We have weaknesses, struggles that we try to hide, but why go at it alone and allow the "secret" to silently destroy us? A spouse, a parent, a close Godly friend, and God, Himself can help strengthen us and encourage us to live a pure, holy, and a productive life.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Sleepwalking kids
When I was little I was a sleepwalker. Well, my two older kids have decided to carry on my tradition! :/ Last night, they both were up and walking around. My daughter scratches her head and mumbles, while my son can carry on a conversation. It amazes be that their eyes are open, they're talking and walking, but totally asleep!
I'm guilty of sleepwalking, just not the kind that plagues my kids right now. How many days I have my eyes open (after coffee, of course), talking and walking around, but not really "awake". I miss the many opportunities to be kind to and love the people around me. My neighbors, my friends, strangers, and even my family have fallen victim to my sleepwalking.
Wake up! Don't be a sleepwalker! (I'm talking talking to myself, of course!)
I'm guilty of sleepwalking, just not the kind that plagues my kids right now. How many days I have my eyes open (after coffee, of course), talking and walking around, but not really "awake". I miss the many opportunities to be kind to and love the people around me. My neighbors, my friends, strangers, and even my family have fallen victim to my sleepwalking.
Wake up! Don't be a sleepwalker! (I'm talking talking to myself, of course!)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Inside and Out
When you go to a new doctor they always ask for your family health history. Mine is always long as my family tree is filled with many health issues. I've always been aware that some of those are hereditary, and I should pay close attention to what I eat and how much I exercise. Wish I could say that I've always tried to be a healthy person, but the truth....I haven't. Now, finally, I've decided because of that family history there are some steps I must take! I've lost 25 pounds and am hard at work to live healthy.
All that to say when I was naming this blog, I realized just how much family can impact a person not only physically, but family also has a part in shaping who you are.
There have been days that on the inside I had feelings of anger. Sure enough on those days, my kids were grumpy, my husband and I had an argument, and even the dogs would be difficult! Maybe I didn't show the anger, but it affected my family in a negative way. It's amazing no matter what "member" of the family you are (husband, wife, brother, sister, grandma, etc...), what's going on inside of you can certainly impact others in your family. (good and bad)
I'm sure I will be able to give you many examples in the days ahead, as I tend to catch myself often affecting those around me. (hoping it isn't ALL negative)
So my goal for this week and probably for this life, is to watch how I am on the inside and pay attention to what comes out. What can you do this week to give your family incentive to resemble you "inside and out"?
All that to say when I was naming this blog, I realized just how much family can impact a person not only physically, but family also has a part in shaping who you are.
There have been days that on the inside I had feelings of anger. Sure enough on those days, my kids were grumpy, my husband and I had an argument, and even the dogs would be difficult! Maybe I didn't show the anger, but it affected my family in a negative way. It's amazing no matter what "member" of the family you are (husband, wife, brother, sister, grandma, etc...), what's going on inside of you can certainly impact others in your family. (good and bad)
I'm sure I will be able to give you many examples in the days ahead, as I tend to catch myself often affecting those around me. (hoping it isn't ALL negative)
So my goal for this week and probably for this life, is to watch how I am on the inside and pay attention to what comes out. What can you do this week to give your family incentive to resemble you "inside and out"?
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